I feel like I could write about this forever, even though the words struggle to flow onto the page.
The exhaustion, overwhelming.
During days like this, the wait is the worst.
So much anxiety, too many thoughts, unequivocal expectations.
The care of my boy taken away, scheduled on the calendar, a notion still unnatural, however somewhat normal to us now.
A mother-in-waiting holds a different meaning for an oncology mummy. A mother waiting for news, a mother waiting for relief, a mother needing to take a breath.
During days like this, my entire being battles with the fight and the surrender. Too much in love to stop, too tired to continue. Feeling totally drained by the situation but completely motivated by my little one.
I wish so hard that this wasn't our reality, living on a knife's edge. Constantly reminded that we are living proof that miracles happen. That something magical keeps our spirits and our boy alive.
To read more about me, my struggles, and my successes as a mum and businesswoman, head to my website www.crystalleonardi.com/blog
My books, Boy of Steel, My Brother Sebastian, and 6 Steps to Self-publishing can all be found here: www.crystalleonardi.com/my-books