What happens when you've been through the worst of it, the dust settles, and you're living life again? When you've returned to the mundane, but necessary tasks that you missed so much when life was far
less complicated? When you're back to doing things for yourself again -
for me that's playing sport and the occasional cuppa with friends. When life is pretty much... 'normal', again.
Why then, does is all feel so different?
It's no surprise to me that life hasn't felt the same after Sebastian's diagnosis, but it's nothing like I imagined either.
During the hardest day of my life - January 12, 2020 (surgery day), I felt like the world was spinning around me but I was standing still, frozen in time, by fear. The problem is, although that was 20 months ago, I am still waiting to thaw out properly. I'm about 50% there, most days. Physically, I'm here. Mentally, I'm here. Emotionally though, I'm still far away, and unsure if I'll ever fully return.
It's innocence stolen, hearts broken and mended again, and it's so much about emotional recovery. Some days, the emotions are easy but then other days, they are a struggle. On the harder days, I feel blessed to have Sebastian with us, but overwhelmed by his future and jaded by what we've already had to endure to get this far.
I am yearning to overcome the trauma of 2020 and despite being confronted by formidable obstacles along the way, I was raised knowing the value of a hard day's work. I have a vision for what 'Boy of Steel' could be - a story that inspires courage, but also a wonderful way to heal.
"A vision that grows inside of you, a vision that wakes with you, sleeps with you, moves with you, a vision that you can tap into on your worst days - that vision will pull you forward."
Iganla Vauzant