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Hook a Publisher in the First 30 Pages - Part 3

Writer's picture: Crystal LeonardiCrystal Leonardi

Thanks for returning to my blog for Part 3!


To re-cap: When it comes to writing, there are no hard and fast rules—every ‘rule’ proposed by writers has been broken at some point. However, there are timeless principles that can serve as valuable guides to crafting compelling stories. For me, the most essential principle in writing is this: captivate immediately.

If you aim to hook a publisher (or any reader) in the first 30 pages, you must grab their attention and keep it. The key lies in following three essential steps that ensure your opening pages are irresistible.


Recently, I completed a course hosted by Barbara Kyle on this very topic. I wanted to share my top 3 takeaways. Credit to Barbara for sharing her knowledge and expertise. You can check out her website here: https://www.barbarakyle.com 


Effective Use of Dialogue


Dialogue creates magic in a book and breathes life into the story.

Dramatic Functions of Dialogue:

  1. Moves the story forward: Dialogue can explain, accuse, or distract, but it should always include some level of tension. Tension keeps readers engaged and eager to know what happens next.



  2. Develops relationships: Well-written dialogue reveals the unique personalities of characters. Eliminate generic or robotic tones—each character should have a distinctive voice. Use idioms and quirks to add depth.


Here’s an example of generic/robotic tone:

Lisa: "Hello, James. How are you doing today?"

James: "I am fine, Lisa. Thank you for asking. How are you?"

Lisa: "I am also fine. It is nice to see you."

James: "It is nice to see you, too. I hope you have a good day."


Now, here’s an example of tone with personality:

Lisa: "James! Long time no see—what’s new in your world?"

James: "Lisa! Same old, same old. But hey, I finally fixed that coffee machine you made fun of."

Lisa: [laughing] "You mean the antique museum piece you call a coffee machine? I’ll believe it when I see it brewing something drinkable."

James: "Ouch. I’d invite you over to prove you wrong, but I don’t think my ego could handle your commentary."

  1. Enhances rhythm and atmosphere: Body language is a living part of dialogue. For instance, instead of saying, "She was nervous," write, "The woman fidgeted with her wedding ring." Similarly, "The girl covered her mouth to hide a smile" conveys more emotion and adds rhythm to the scene. These subtle details can replace or enhance dialogue, making conversations more dynamic and believable.


By implementing these three steps:

  1. establishing a clear inciting incident,

  2. creating a character readers care about, and

  3. mastering effective dialogue, you can craft an opening that hooks readers and publishers alike.


    Remember, captivating storytelling is all about connection and engagement!

    If you loved this series of blogs, let me know! You can comment directly here or send me an email to leonardi.crystal@gmail.com. I have mentoring programs and consultation services and offer manuscript appraisals, too, so if you think I can help improve your writing, get in touch!



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