All The Feels
Earlier this year, I participated in a writing workshop with the great Edwina Shaw. She taught me so much in such a short time and reminded me that connecting to my core emotions, is the key to my success as a published author.
I then read a book called 'The Path Made Clear' by Oprah Winfrey and found this quote;
"All dreams start from the core. Unless you are in total alignment with whatever you envision, the dream will get derailed. Your intention has to be pure." Oprah Winfrey
Together, Edwina's teachings & Oprah's wise words prompted me to write about specific moments in 2020 that significantly ignited my deepest emotions. Today, I share a short passage that wasn't included in my book Boy of Steel, but will stay with me forever.
To set the scene, I had returned home for a surprise visit to see my 3 daughters after being away for just over 5 weeks. Sebastian was clinically stable so Sam & I decided it was time for me to go home for some respite. I flew home on February 13, 2020 in time to pick the girls up from school for a few days together, before I had to return to Sebastian on the 18th February. Alyssa was just 3 years old at the time and my heart was always heavy with worry for her while I was away...
My body was so nervous and full of energy as I entered the Kindy, just after noon on Thursday. The anticipation of reuniting with Alyssa was almost overwhelming, making walking in a straight line difficult. As I entered the room, the familiar smells infiltrated my nostrils and ignited a familiarity I suddenly realized I had missed dearly. The bright colours of the room, the handmade children's artwork hanging from string across the ceiling, reminded me I was 'home'. As I made my way through the Kindy room and outside to where Alyssa was, I could hear the sound of toddlers chatting away and the busy-ness that surrounded them. The children were innocent, pure and living in the moment, as children do. Alyssa would be shocked to see me and I couldn't wait to see her beautiful big brown eyes look up at me at the sound of my voice.
There are so many ups and downs in a lifetime. At the moment, I'm feeling like my life is overflowing with so much positivity but my emotions are struggling to engage. It's a toll the PTSD takes on me. It's hard work but it's real and it's all part of this journey I'm taking through Sebastian's diagnosis with brain cancer. What keeps me afloat though, is writing. In the good times & the bad, writing is always there and so is my vision to help others through my writing.
*Image of Alyssa kissing a horse at 'Horses Helping Humans' in Dimbulah, QLD. A wonderful therapy to help improve the mental health of children and adults alike.